


no one does it better

by aarobron



Category: Emmerdale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 13:20:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9442436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aarobron/pseuds/aarobron
Summary: Sort of a coda to 23/01/17The one thing Robert realises from tonight is that they’ve been stumbling through the last few months blindly. It was a relationship on autopilot at the very least, with no thoughts or real feelings behind it.





	

The one thing Robert realises from tonight is that they’ve been stumbling through the last few months blindly. It was a relationship on autopilot at the very least, with no thoughts or real feelings behind it. They’d just been ignoring all their issues, pressing them away with emotionless kisses and smiles that didn’t quite reach the eyes. 

He supposes it’s easy to pretend like that when you’ve done it your entire life.

And maybe sometimes it takes a scare, a near-death experience to re-evaluate your life. Because that’s what he chalks Thursday up to: an almost casualty, a close call. 

He didn’t _mean_ to take his ring off. Really, he didn’t, but he was just so tired he couldn’t think of another way around it. He just wasn’t sure he could be enough for Aaron.

And all he's ever wanted is for Aaron to be happy.

Whether that's with or without him, well, he'll never know. He doesn't really want the opportunity to. 

Taking his ring off was easy. No, no, scrap that- it was the hardest thing he's ever had to do. Like tearing off a body part, a piece of him, something he needs. 

But compared to thought of Aaron going to prison? It's a walk in the park.

Because if they'd just split up, he'd be able to see Aaron. He'd watch him around the village, from a distance, with his heart in his throat and his stomach fluttering. He'd see Aaron and still love him and maybe they could be friends. 

But completely losing Aaron? No. It's not even an option. He's selfish in this, in the way he loves; with his heart and body and mind, with cheats and lies and manipulation. He doesn't mean to do it, _honest_ , it's just that sometimes he gets so scared he can't think straight.

He does a lot of things he doesn't mean to.

But tonight, right here in the dark corner of the pub, in his favourite booth with his favourite person, he means _everything_. He means the words he says, even if he doesn't mean for them to slip out. He means it when he tells Aaron that he's not alone, that he was worried. 

He hopes Aaron understands that.

He tries to tell him through that kiss, but it's mechanical, just a habit that he's so used to. He doesn't even think about it anymore, doesn't really feel it either but then in the last split second he thinks about it. He really _thinks_ about it, about the man that's pressed up next to him, and the emotion hits him all at once.

When he pulls back, he does a double take, looking at Aaron and finally seeing him. He sees the reason he's still here, the reason he let everything come crash down around him without a care, and he realises exactly what he's been missing.

So he kisses him again.

Aaron's hand lands on his thigh and he feels warmth but not heat, and then his hands are moving of their own accord, gravitating towards Aaron just to hold him, to feel his skin, his pulse.

God, he can't believe he almost lost this. 

He pulls back an inch, grazing his nose along the line of Aaron's cheekbone and he takes him in, properly, for the first time in months. He breathes in Aaron's smell, the aftershave he steals off Robert, the moisturiser he started using and Robert feels his heart swell.

He smells like himself, of Robert, a mixture of the both of them and definitely like home.

Not for the first time in his life, Robert realises what he's missing. But for the first time, he realises that it's _his_.

And if the two of them spent all night pressed up together, relearning the taste of each other's lips and nothing else, well, no one will know. They keep it a secret, just between themselves, shared through soft eyes and deep smiles over coffee the next morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr @ aarobron x


End file.
